Slumber stare

Since living with Greg at his parents place, a few things have come up (how possibly could they not?). Greg does this thing were if gawd forbid I attempt to wake him up, sometimes he looks at me like I'm a stranger, and he's angry that how dare I come into his bedroom, and attempt to wake him. He gets into such a deep sleep that he doesn't recognize me, and gives me the ugliest, meanest stare you could ever give anyone. For three seconds, I feel HORRIBLE about it, until his wakes up a little more and I regret ever trying. :) 

Mostly green

I can't help but wonder if I'm just witnessing this paint job at the wrong stage...

My 10 year old self

I've often thought what my 10 year old self might think should I run into her on the street one day and she asks about our life now. A few things she'd ask about right away I'm sure are how much money I'm allotted to spend on 5 cent candies, and I would have to break the news that although candies are still 5 cents, and I can spend all the money I want on candy, I try not to. She would be super impressed that I buy all my own clothes, drive a car, and work at store that sells chocolate. She might be surprised that I look forward to bed time. I might warn her that in a couple years things are gunna get weird, but that we make it out ok, and the divorce makes my relationships stronger. She might get excited to find out I live on my own, but I'll tell her the truth - that I miss dad at least once everyday, and sometimes wish we lived together again.She might laugh at me when I tell her about how close I am with my sister, and how I picked up another along the way. She might also ask if I have a boyfriend, but I won't tell her about Greg, so she can suddenly experience the revelation of falling in love with her best friend like I did. I might be surprised talking to her, how different we are; how far I've come  and how much I've changed.

Soft knife

For a card making class I went to recently, were were given a list of supplies to bring with us, and on there was one item, a "soft knife". I thought of a few things this could be, but thought I'd ask the experts at Michaels while I was there with a friend picking some of the other items off the list. We asked a nice middle aged lady, who got a second opinion before bringing us to a section and pointing out this item. 

I said, "oh a boner!" and I cannot explain in words the contrast between the amusing look the Michaels lady gave me to the horrified look my friend gave me. But hear me out, the above tool is also referred to as Boning tool, it's for running along edges to make them crisp looking.

When we got to the class, it turns out it was a different tool entirely, but that memory will be hard to forget.

Pizza tracker

For anyone who hasn't ordered a pizza in a while (for me it's been a few years) let me just tell you, it's changed a little. Gone are the days you call, and ask 50 million questions about your order. As are the days you sit around wondering if anything's actually going to show up at your door in a timely manner. Oh yea people, as with most things, this too has gone online. 

Not only can you special order your pizza with toppings on this half or that, with all the sides and pay with a coupon, you can watch the steps of your pizza progress. It also tells you by whom it is being made, put in the oven, delivered by. 

This was neat because then when I made my usual sign about not knocking on my landlords door I could say, "Alan! Please deliver the pizza over here --->" He seemed amused. 

Waved on

I swear they made the new Coast Meridian overpass in Poco with police road blocks in mind, because you don't know they're even there until you're in them. Such was the case last WEDNESDAY on my way home. Honestly? I know it's topless bull riding night at Roosters, but still...So anyways, there I was driving over, and I diligently rolled my window down, expecting to see a cop about to lean in, but no one. There was one officer with someone pulled over farther ahead in the other lane, and all the other officers were on the other side of the meridian. I stopped to see if anyone was going to walk over, and a cop on the other side of the bridge takes one look at me and waves me through. I guess my hardcore badass days are over, if they even happened. I was actually excited to tell someone that I'd just been at a Christmas cardmaking class with my two friends who live on that side of Poco, and would you like to see what I made? See this technique was with a heat tool....

Either or

I was aiming for fashionable, but evidently the line between that and "weather confused sleeze" in a fine one these days. I did get a couple funny looks, but coming from someone who rarely gets any looks, the nature of this attention is still unknown. Still fun to step out of your comfort zone here and there :)

Dear sir

Its interesting talking to people about perspective when it comes to aging. When I was a kid, I used to think my parents were old, and my grandparents were ANCIENT, (love you Grams!) and  they were only in their sixties then. It's funny how now, only a handful of years later I hear about someone in their late fifties dying in car crash and my first though is, "gawd, they were so young!" It's even funnier talking to my grandma, who detests being called, "dear". Or even my uncle who said, "I didn't start to feel old until girls your age started calling me 'sir', then it hit me"  Also how differently people age, how my active grandparents in their seventies look and act more youthful then people younger than them. This all coming from a 25 year old, who evidently looks younger than 19, with gray hair. Dad had it right, grow old, but never grow up.

F-ing yoga

So a while back, a friend of mine from work and I decided to try out a new yoga that opened. We sauntered over after we work one night, met the instructor, laid out our mats and started the class. I considered myself to have been more than a beginner since I have a Yoga app on my phone which I set up a 14 minute program of all my favourite poses that I do once a month. Let me just tell you, this was more than challenging. There was a pretzel on the other side of the room doing everything as good, if not better than the instructor, and I'm thinking there's one of them in every class. The lights were off, the candles were on, the soothing music...it was all enough to inspire you to relax. As I stretched into child's pose though, a big loud fart slipped out, completely against my will. The instructor said, "mmmhmmmm" as if it was a compliment. I was mortified. I thought it couldn't get any worse, until we tried another pose and I fell over. I got up super quickly hoping no one noticed and I could shake it off, but no chance. Everyone was asking if I was ok, people started to come over to me. "I'm FINE! Moving on..." I haven't been back yet.

Another annoying ad

Bahahhahahaha. What can I even say about this? Ladies, don't we all do this in the mirror every morning? Toplessly attempting to eat our body butter? 

Wall status

My boyfriend, Greg has 5 siblings, at at their place, like many families, they have a wall in the house with names and dates to show how they've grown over the years. I was ecstatic when it was suggested that I could be added to this wall. What an honour! If I didn't feel like part of the family before...and then they measured me. Alright, I'll admit it, I know I'm less than 5 feet tall, I just tell people that because 4 foot something just sounds so SHORT! And to be honest, I thought I was only slightly less anyhow. Maybe I'm shrinking. I'm only 4'10ish! Not 4'11 and half. And the best part? The evidence is in PEN!

iPillow

I was driving my sister to the airport at 4am a couple weeks back, and we had some pretty interesting conversations, since brain activity is at possibly its lowest point that early. She was talking about the things she brought with her on the plane, and listed off her "eye pillow" but I thought she meant iPillow, similar to iPhone, iPad, iCloud...and I said, "how on earth did they work that out?" We laughed when we figured it out. What do you say apple? Challenge accepted?

Chicken or egg?

STI?

I was driving with a guy friend the other day, when out of nowhere he blurts out, 

"I wish I had an S.T.I.." and maybe it's because my sister talks doctor talk all the time, but I instantly thought Sexually Transmitted Infection. 

Evidently it's also a car. 

I can't help  but wonder if they named the car while it was still politically correct to say S.T.D.? 

Heels from hell

People often ask me why I don't wear heels, as if being short makes me inadequate. But there's a very good reason why THESE are the heels from HELL! 

And here's the reason...

Can we just agree that this might very well be the best photographed blister? 

Downsizing

My family likes to tease my Grandma because when she used to travel down to Mexico every winter in their RV, space was an issue, especially in the fridge and freezer. So she brought lots of containers, and when something was eaten enough to fit into a smaller container, she'd downsize. Sometimes this might happen even before you're finished scooping or eating it. She's great at space awareness, and deciding which container will fit everything with little extra room. It's a talent I've been told I also have, but we all have our off days...

The sandwich bag proved unsuccessful. 

So did this size container. 

I had to take a picture of it actually working so Grams would know I was eventually successful. 

Green tea grimace

My favourite part about selling ice cream in the mall, is letting people try our new flavours when they come in. Root beer float was a hit, and people go nuts over the sea salt caramel. So when we got the green tea flavour, I was all over letting people try it. It's not that appetizing of a colour either, so sometimes I have to talk people into taking a free sample. And then the magic happens. Before I tried it, I thought people were nuts for making funny faces and deciding how they were going to swallow it without their gag reflex kicking in. I love green tea! And then I had some.

 It's HORRID! Absolutely terrible! Pasty and chalky, and then the bitter/tangy after taste kicks in. Its a little twisted, but now I know how gross it is, I get even more excited about letting people try it. The occasional person isn't lying through their green teeth when they say they like it, but that's always less interesting.

Cute pork

I was at the grocery store the other day (yes I'm avoiding saying which one) and I noticed they had some balloons in the produce section. Above some of the fruit there was a happy strawberry balloon, and dancing brocolli, it was all so cute. Then when we were leaving I noticed a cute smiling pig..in the deli section! 

Too far people, too far. 

Penny people

So you'd have to live in a cave not to know the Bank of Canada discontinued the penny back on February 4th. They said on the news that it was costing more to make pennies than they were worth, and people tended to hoard them, so they were needed to making more every year. Great, glad you're savings money. But guess what every penny hoarder on the planet thought when they heard the news? "Oh wow, my pennies are going to be worth something one day, even more reason to keep them!" Yes, pennies are discontinued, but they're not going anywhere fast, I guarantee it.

Embarrassing tentacle

Whenever someone asks, "what is your most embarrassing moment?" I have a few great stories to pick from. Foot in mouth is sometimes a constant state of being for me. One such occasion happened way back in 2001, at a little place called Banting Middle School. Since most of the class didn't bother to show up (snow maybe?), instead of teaching us, my teacher decided to have us read scripts from Star Wars. Anyone familiar with the series remembers the part where Luke Skywalker and his gang is stuck in a garbage compactor, and there's a large octopus-like monster trying to kill them.

Well the line was, "the BIG, SLIMY tentacle grabbed Luke and pulled him under the garbage" Oh yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen, not only was I 13 and I said the word TESTICLE in front of everyone, but it happened to have BIG and SLIMY in front of it. If you've ever seen an entire room full of people, teacher included, laugh so hard they all fall on the floor, you know how dramatic and humiliating this was. It would probably have bothered me more if I could have caught my breath and got up off the floor.

Beef with email ads

Lately I've found myself super critical of email ads, which isn't hard because I get a lot of them. I'm members of all the deal sites, and I LOVE putting my name, and conveniently my email in for draws. One day three caught my eye in one email.

Look! Take these pills and you can be headless too! Who needs healthy food and exercise? One catch, you have to be great with photoshop. 

I want to know where in Granville Island this was taken, because it looks like somewhere tropcial off a coast. Very unlike the water I've seen near Granville Island...

And in their defense, this picture is completely accurate. Anyone who's ever taken photo's in a photobooth with props, which is a new trend at weddings and other events, knows this to be true. If there's four shots, count your entire head to be blocked out in at least one of them. 

Innovation

Think outside the box a little, it's the only way to survive! Especially in public washrooms, where despite someone steeling the hook, at Ikea no less, putting your purse on the floor is simply not an option. No hook thief will ruin my day! Is a hook thief called a hooker? Buya!

Topless meet cute

If you haven't seen the movie "The Holiday" get on it. But you can't borrow my copy, because I already lent it out once, never got it back and had to re-buy it.

So in the movie it describes the first time the two people meet as the meet cute. I had a first interaction with a random guy that was so strange I couldn't keep it to myself. A while back I dropped by Aleisha's work specifically to drop off a jacket I'd borrowed, but then I got a smoothie, and chit chatted, and eventually got back to my car, jacket still in my possession. So even though I was running late (when am I not?) I decided to run it back in, literally run. As I flung open the door, a guy turned the corner and started to come out. He was all, "Oh this is great! A new kind of chivalry, a girl that holds the door for the guy!" I smiled, but this is still not too out of the ordinary right? So I give Aleisha her jacket, and head back for my car. As I pass the minivan parked beside me, there's door guy, half-naked, blocking my drivers side door. I was a little awe-struck, not because a ripped guy is now smiling at me, and blushing, but I literally had no where to go. What are the chances of that? He thought it was just great, and wanted to chat me up again. I waited until he was finished changing, and then I got in my car and left, still laughing.

Trainwreck Facebook friend

We all have at least one person on Facebook whom we follow because they're a trainwreck. Why we follow those people might be a little different, maybe it's for comic relief, or to feel better about yourself and your life. But I almost guarantee you there's someone who when they're posts come up you think, "For a regular person, this is ludicrous, but for this person, just another day in the life.." Sometimes I'll be sitting around doing whatever it is I do in my daily life and when a notification goes off on my phone I get excited. I think, "here we go, can't wait, it's so-and-so" No, I'm not giving away my sources, but keep up the good work trainwrecks!

For the record, the word "trainwreck" must be code for large bundles of pot, because that's what came up when I googled it.

Misconception

For those of you who find my blog through my Facebook wall, you might have been a little confused when one of my recent posts popped up. When I wrote  "Hard choice", it popped up on my Facebook wall with the same picture of Greg as in the post, but without the birthday cake. I might have accidentally generated more pageveiws. Anyways, Greg and I are happy as clams, just celebrated our four year anniversary earlier this month. I hope those 40 people weren't disappointed to find out the hard choice was between Star Trek or beer. 

Grisly 10k

For the third time time now, I set out to run the BC Cancer Foundation's 10k Underwear Affair, but this year I was armed with a goal. I wanted to run it in under and hour. The first year I ran it in 1h24m, and the year before I'd run it in 1h12mins, so I was just shaving off another 12 minutes right? 

Well the truth is, this determination to reach my goal ultimately lead to my demise. I wanted to get there so badly that before the run when one of the vendors offered me something and said, "this will give you energy!" I ate it. I ate it all. If it wasn't for my Uncle Kevin running with me and telling me to breath and coaching me, I probably wouldn't have finished. I had a large herd of UNICORNS trying to get out of my STOMACH by the 3rd kilometer. The 8th wasn't so hot either. It helped having a friendly face at the third water station, my friend Sarah volunteered this year, what a sweetheart.

When I crossed the finish line, I thought the clock said 1h5mins, and I was disappointed, but happy considering. Aleisha had some trouble with her asthma, so we hit the medical tent, where I released the unicorns into their garbage can, but look, they gave me this cute little barf bag!

When we checked our times later, mine came up at 1h10mins, with Uncle Kevin just behind me, and Aleisha not far after that. We hit the beer tent, and then the after party together and had a great night. All in all the event was a BLAST and I loved it. 

And next year, watch out -10k in under an hour is within my reach :) 

Hard choice

For Gregs birthday last week, I decided to take the responsibility of getting him a cake, and his favourite are the Dairy Queen ice cream cakes. So when I called a couple days before to order it, I answered all the usual questions. "For how many people? When can you pick it up? What do you want it to say?" and then they asked me what I wanted on the cake. In the past I've gotten him beer, and one year I think I got Star Trek, so I asked for both. I don't know what I was expecting, William Shatner holding up a mug of beer ready to CHEERS Greg off the cake or something, but logically she answered they couldn't do both. They have preset designs the shape of the cake they just put on, and both won't fit. 

"So what do you want? Beer or Star Trek?"

It was jarring how hard of a choice it was. I chose beer. He said he would have gone with Star Trek. I bet it tasted the same. 

Four way stop procedure

When I was learning to drive, my dad, who gladly let my aunt and driving school do most of the work, would occasionally work in lessons while we were driving together, me as the passenger of course. One day we pulled up to a four way stop and dad asked me, "who goes first in a four way stop?" and I diligently rehearsed what I'd read in my driving book, "the vehicle who gets to the intersection first, or if it's around the same time, the person on the right to the.." and then dad interrupted as he gunned it,

"NOPE! It's the person with the bigger BALLS!" 

But lets face it, he kind of had a point, because we've all been to that four-way stop where NO ONE had ANY BALLS. I was there yesterday at the four way stop just in front of my old high school, Terry Fox Secondary in Poco. Of course its summer, because it never would have happened that way if pretentious new drivers had anything to do with it. So I pulled up behind one car to realize that no one was moving, in any direction. I had no idea what had happened before I got there, so I don't know who was attempting to be courteous, or just plain dumb. But they even went as far to start to go and stop at the same time, similar to how two people get stuck trying to pass one another in a crowded hallway. Eventually someone waved someone else on, and I've never been so happy to leave an intersection, it was just so painful to watch.

Underhere?

I can't tell if this is a genius way to embarrass someone, or if someone just found this thong on the road and wanted the owner to see them and get them back. Considering this was taken on a Tuesday morning, it must have been one heck of a Monday night.

Dress bliss

I love shopping alone because it's so care-free. You get to spend as long as you like in stores, go into whatever stores you like, leave after 5 minutes if you feel like it...but there is one major downside. When I try things on, I value that second opinion, and lets be honest, the sales clerks are usually biased. If you're running solely on that opinion, I'd grab something you know looks hideous and get their opinion just to gauge their honesty. But I've also found another strategy that works quite well:  

I'm sure this isn't allowed, but then I text my friends and family to get the yea or nah. In the case of the last sparkly light purple dress, I posted it to Facebook to get people's opinions. This also backfired on me because I used the caption, "say yes to the dress?" and one of my aunts thought I was getting married. Oops!

Oh Indy

The other day as I was leaving for work, I stopped at the door thinking. "I can't leave my prescription sunglasses on the coffee table like that!" and then I remembered I didn't live with a four-legged menace anymore who would find them and eat them. It was in that moment that I actually missed the damn dog.
And then I remembered how he slept on my pillows...

And drank from my cup when I wasn't looking...

And whatever he's doing in this shot where he's clearly up to no good...

And then that "miss you" feeling left as quickly as it came :) 

5000 BABY!

I'm happy to share that yesterday after my 3 page views, I officially hit 5002 page views on my blog! Regardless of whether this is actually an accomplishment in the blogging world, I'm pretty excited about it. Remember that this blog started as a school project, one that I was reluctant to do. Since then I've started to like it, and look for things in the my daily life to share with you, such as this shot that I took this morning. Note to self: do not go to bed with wet hair. It's also a test to see if Greg actually reads my blog because that's one of his favourite shirts. Anyways, I couldn't have achieved this likely non-accomplishment without you, my readers, so thanks again. Hope you're having as much fun with it as I am :)

Junk watch

I've been moved out on my own for almost a year at this point, but I still can't help but be on the lookout for junk people left at the side of the road. Lets be clear that a lot of it is actually junk that belongs there for the garbage man to take it away, but once in a while it's good stuff. Greg's bbq, my nightstand, a cd player, an organizer we keep in the storage under the stairs to name a few. The items I didn't get from strangers I got from my family, such as my tv stand, the two Ikea organizers, and my coffee tables. When you're moving out for the first time and have nothing, anything sounds great. Sometimes I call Greg, "do you need a _____?" and he knows I'm not standing in a store where they're selling one for a good price. It's hard to shake yourself of that mentality, and even now I notice things people leave out.

No shoplifters

I found this gem at the dollar store across from my work. 

Spot the beaver

They had a choice of ANY animal...and they just HAD to pick the beaver. 

Spot the MOOSE just didn't have the same ring to it?