Wednesday, April 21, 2021

My tick story

Sometimes people tell kids ridiculous stories and think nothing of it, but then that kid grows up without that story ever being corrected. Someone told my dad when he was a kid that ticks don't only burrow into your skin, they go into your blood stream, travel to your brain and eat it. He grew up, got married, bought a house, had kids, got a dog...and no one ever corrected it. 

So when we found a tick on our family dog in the middle of the night, off we went to the emergency vet clinic. You know the ones, that charge you $100 just for being open in the middle of the night? I'd love to see a recording when the vetrinarian had to re-explain ticks to my petrified family. We thought Sydney was a goner! We asked him if we'd made it in time. In retrospect, that tick likely could have eaten most of that dogs brain and we wouldn't have noticed, bless his wee heart. 

Anyways, I'm sure he paid an arm and a leg at the vet to have the tick removed, dad's tick story was finally corrected before he passed it onto us. Years later my dad took me on a date with him and this lady he's been seeing from online dating, and before we left she had to help me remove a tick out of dad's back. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1TYmoxn3wh-Ulm758GFy0J93fDmdPZA84

Turns out you don't want to pull on them because they'll leave their heads behind and get infected, but if you heat up a spoon and touch it to their butt, they back that ass up.

Monday, March 1, 2021

Contentious bread

When people talk about living with a significant other, they'll usually get to a phrase similar to "pick your battles" and grocery shopping seems to be full of them. But Jon went into the bread isle like a ring at the UFC. He was bound and determined we'd get the healthiest bread there, and he was not willing to compromise. 


He's so funny when he dives into all the logic, and I make my decisions based on feelings. We made compromises in other isles to compensate. I will say after a while it starts to taste less like they were making bread all day, and then just swept the factory and dumped it in to make ours. 

Eventually you don't even notice its just healthy stuff bonded together to fit in the toaster! 

Saturday, February 13, 2021

The footrest that *almost* left

So my male roommate (ok - boyfriend Jon) had this old computer tower under his desk. When I finally asked him what the deal was, he admitted  it just made a really great foot rest. I’m serious, I can’t make this shit up. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1og84jCTbMO7ctsfMZx1652UOP82buHtS
So weeks later I finally convinced him to junker the old thing, and we loaded it into my car. (To take to recycling of course!) Coincidently enough, that weekend I had all day trainings online, and guess what? I was uncomfortable without that stupid tower. I drove around with it for a couple more days before I could bring myself to admit to Jon I missed it being upstairs. 

We joked that the tower somehow earned the immunity totem from Survivor, and the smile on his face when he carried it back up to out apartment, I tell ya! 

Sunday, January 31, 2021

Jerk off my horn

One of my favourite things to do (when it was allowed) is play Dodgeball. Seen the movie with the same name? It’s shockingly accurate. I usually play in a beer league (there’s now 5 in the BC Lower Mainland) mostly full of the “athletic types” you remember from high school. At one point I started my own team called “Amazeballs” with the t-shirts having a unicorn drinking wine on them. To fit the theme, I’d wear a unicorn headband to most nights. 


One such night, a friend of mine came up, and started jerking off my horn. I turned to her and said, “You’re actually the second person to jerk off my horn tonight..!” At which point some guy standing near us, who I’d never met, burst out laughing. I said, “Well that’s a heck of a first impression, Hi - I’m Jenn... and you know what? I’m not even going to correct that, it’s actually pretty accurate...”