Need 2 minivans?

This was in the Costco parking lot back in the summer. I resisted the urge to follow them to see if they make it home.

Elevator abbreviations

Most things we run into on a daily basis have abbreviations; numbers, symbols or shortened forms of words that are universal. Street signs, maps, gas station signs..but what happens when they're not universally understood? I have serious beef with elevator abbreviations. There's no legend, and I'm almost sure most people are just guessing what they mean. I'm thinking "L" most likely means 'lobby', but "G"? And the star probably has to do with braille, but who knows?

I don't care who you are, getting into a small box that moves isn't comfortable for anyone, they should make the experience as stress free as possible and just write it out. 

Need a minivan?

I'm not sure if anyone else remembers the commercials that came on when I was a kid, and I don't even remember which van company did them, but they'd always show an overloaded car and say "Need a minivan?" Well I've been catching people, so I want to do a re-occurring post about it. I'll start with myself.  

This is good 'ol snowball and a free desk my friend Kristi and I picked up. We drove slowly to say the least.

Creative real-estate

As a writer, I can appreciate when people creatively portray things, but I think real-estate agents take this to a whole new level sometimes. A few key differences to watch out for, quaint means small, traditional means unrenovated and Semi-Lake shore could mean anything..

This house is selling in Tappen, B.C. near my grandparents house. The lake is across the road, underneath the power lines, and through the trees. No joke.

Applying for a Job 1100

Every retail job I've had, the comic relief has always been what some people will wear/say/do when they are applying to work there. I just can't believe how clueless some people can be. I've compiled a list of donts, because the do's list would just be the opposite, and it's more fun this way.

DON'T come with your mom, dad, or bff.
DON'T let your mom ask for applications on your behalf. I'm always tempted to put stars on these so I know with whom they're coming back.
DON'T wear a t-shirt, but especially an inappropriate one. "That's not what your mom said last night.."
DON'T wear your lulu's/jeans/sweater. Dress fancy, or at least as dressed up as you would need to be to work there.
DON'T try to apply to a place that's super busy, it's annoying.
DON'T ask for a pen if you're dumb enough not to have brought one with you to fill out the application. It's also annoying. Ask another store.  Buy one. Take it home and drop it off later.
DON'T wear anything see through, too short or too low. It's gross.
DON'T put your resume down on the counter and slide it over.
DON'T throw your resume at me.
DON'T roll out of bed and show up. Combs were invented a 100 years ago for a reason.
DON'T look dumb faced when you're asked why you would want to work here. That means you don't. Have a half intelligent/thought out answer for this one.
DON'T apply somewhere you don't want to work. It shows.

Dammit people, you're making a first impression on someone. The likelihood of you being the only one who applied is slim. Don't give them an obvious reason to put you in the "NO!" pile.

Radar alert

I can’t help but laugh every time I hear a radar alert on the radio in the morning. “Also, there’s radar on this street so watch your speed people!” If I was that cop, I would just pack up my shit and move...who doesn't listen to their radio in the car? It feels like elementary school when the teacher left to photocopy, or count to ten or whatever they did, and havoc would ensue. And then the watcher would always YELL, “teacher’s coming!” and everyone would sit straight in their desks with their hands folded. And we wondered how they knew. I wonder if all the cars start going the speed limit on that street after a radar alert? Just like our elementary school teacher, I bet the cop knows better.

Ketchup

Since living together, my roommate and I have had a few sitcom moments, and one of my favourites happened in the first month I was here. Kirsty was sweet enough to cook us dinner, chicken and some fixings. I glanced at the fridge on the way to the living room, thinking I didn't want to hurt her feelings, or offend her by putting ketchup on my chicken. Most of my friends and family know I put ketchup on MOST foods. Chicken, roast, roasted potatoes..the list goes on. But some people take it the wrong way, after all it is a condiment. So I decided to take one for the team and go without. Then Kirsty came around the corner, ketchup in hand. When I said, "whats the ketchup for?" She started in on the same speech I usually give, and I interrupted her with a tear in my eye. "Me too! I eat ketchup on everything too!" And from then on the ketchup makes it to the table for most meals, shame free.