How rude autocorrect

When people ask me what was my most embarrassing moment, I have to think about it. Not because I don't have one, but because I have SO many, that were so many levels of embarrassing, it's hard to pick just one. This kind of stuff happens to me regularily, and I blame my twisted sense of humour, one hundred percent. But this time, I blame autocorrect. 

So Saturday I was hanging out at a friends for a BBQ/pool party and I remembered a guy I graduated with completed an Iron Man, so I wanted to message him on Facebook and congratulate him. We'd talked about going biking together, so when he asked me how my training is going, I said we should make it out, so he could kick my butt. Only thing is, my phone autocorrected "kick" to none other than "lick". Yup, I told a gorgeous guy I haven't seen in years he should lick my butt. Great. I don't blame him one bit for not messaging me back. 

Hill ride

Since I was only doing a shorter ride yesterday, I decided to make it count and ride up a big hill we have in my city, Coast Meridian road. I'd ridden it once with dad back in the day, he kicked my butt! I was going pretty good, in the lowest gear, grinding away.  At the intersection at David Ave, a lady leaned out her car and said, "good for you! That's a big hill!!" Thank you stranger. 

I ride some of the way with a kid too, he couldn't have been 13-14. I kept saying things like, "keep at it! You're almost there" and "pick it up buddy, I'm catching up!" I was pretty sweaty when I got to the top. 

And the sunset was so nice yesterday!! 

The way down was totally worth it. A guy in a truck going the other way honked and yelled "good job!" So threw a fist in the air (just one, gotta be safe) and whooped! Then I check to make sure my nipples weren't showing through my shirt. They weren't. 

It wouldn't surprise me if Dad beat me up last night too. Three hard kilometres though, it felt good. 

Singleness do's and do not's

I've been single for eight months now, so in practically an expert. Hardy har har. Ok so I've compiled a list of observations set out as guidelines...

DO go underwear shopping

If your collection is anything like mine was right out a long term relationship, time to invest. Sexy underwear for me usually includeds some awful combination of lace and animal print. With every new pair, throw out a pair with holes...

DO NOT keep your ex on social media

If you do, be prepared to find out with the rest of the world when he's dating someone new. I dated a guy once who three days after we broke up, his new girlfriend posted a picture of them in bed together. Ew. 

DO try some new things

You'll probably have a lot of free time to fill, try something you've never done. Sign up for an art class. Try Zumba. Say yes to the random Facebook invite. You might find yourself having fun, and meeting new people. Or if you're like me, in some strange situations with lots of good blog material...

DO NOT call your ex at 3am

He does not want to hear from you, or maybe worse, he does. You broke up for a reason, this is NEVER a good call. 

DO something you've always wanted to

No strings attached means don't hold back. That secret ambition you're embarrassed to let out? Do it! 

DO NOT rebound

It's never pretty is it? Yes we all know that one person who it worked out for, but I'm willing to bet we also know ten who it didn't, if we properly inventory. And let's keep that poor other persons feelings in mind while we dive in before we're properly ready. 

DO you 

Let your freak flag fly. Not everyone is a hiking, rich, spontaneous, dog loving vegan. I'm weary for "I'm normal!" Sounds boring to me, if you in fact are, ya weirdo. Freak on. 

Got nailed

I'm feeling like a huge gimp today because of a series of unfortunate events that have people wondering if I'm doing it on purpose. The bruise on my left arm from Tough Mudder is still healing. Then Monday I got a golf ball sized bruise on the front of my right arm from loading my bike on the rack for my training ride. On Wednesday I got an old Christmas light nail in my leg from my friends lawn.

I used to tell people I do well in panic situations, but appriently that's only if it's other people are panicking, because when I saw the nail hanging out, I was all screams, yelling and cursing until it was removed. (Thanks Kevin!)

So yesterday I had to get a tetnus shot in my left arm for the leg. 

Darn good thing the bungee cord I took to the face Sunday trying to get my bike on didn't bruise, people would be asking where the trunk went that ran me over. 

I think it's a combination of being a clutz, and I bruise easy. Compiled with a willingness to do rididculous things like Tough Mudder. Good thing I have a convincing smile! 

Back to back

Cindy and I rode two days back to back in April, and that weekend we pulled 18km on Sunday, and 32km on Monday, so 50km altogether. And it was my first time riding in the rain. HELLLLO skunk tail:

Today and yesterday we also rode back to back, but mostly due to the heat and lack of time, we pulled 10km yesterday and close to 35km today. I've discovered I don't do well in the heat. Even though we're on out bikes by 8am, it's still hot, and yesterday it was almost too much. Today, even though it was a few degrees hotter, the breeze or overcast clouds didn't make it feel as hot. 

Riding on the dikes in Poco today though presented other small challenges. Unleashed dogs being one. Now without sparking a huge debate between dog owners and the rest of the public about leashed dogs, I can say that on a bike, anything unpredictable is unnerving. Despite how well behaved your dog is, the possibility of it running in front of my bike, even more so when it's not in your control to stop it, doesn't bode well. I've been a dog owner most of my life, and how many times did my dogs display biking etiquette? Rarely. 

Another challenge was bugs. #bugsinmyteeth #bugs4breakfast and lets not forget #bugsinmysunblock. Between them and the dust, I actually thought I might have gotten a tan, but sadly it washed off. 

Even more disappointing than that was coming home to this: 

My mentor, cousin, coach and fearless leader Cindy rode us harder today since it was mostly flat and shorter, so Beatie's nerve was almost too much. But then again, I bet she was getting me back for her bath last night...

#wetbed #angrycat #furballrevenge #notimpressed #nocuddles #wetfoodreward 

Not so Tough a Mudder

Yes folks, I gone and done it again. Instead of one huge line to start Tough Mudder in Whistler this year, we had mini lines at the obstacles. One might prefer this, had it not been raining, and at one point, freezing rain. Half our team couldn't finish due to the cold, so by the time I got to Funky Monkey, I was pretty ready for it all to be over. 

Funky Monkey starts with a wooden platform, monkey bars, and water to plunge into if you don't make it. Spoiler alert, I didn't. But I must have swung backwards, because I also made unfriendly contact with that wooden platform I was telling you about with my arm, before hitting the water. I came up crying. And I kept crying, cold, wet and sore for the last kilometre.

I laughed when we got to the Dead Ringer event for legionaries, because it was upper body strength with your arms. Well, electro shock it was! I managed to finish, but just barely. I was the only person on my team to do every obstacle, but it sure wasn't pretty. And since some of us didn't make it to the end, there are already talks of next year. Not sure how excited I can get about that...

I tried to take a picture where I look hardcore, but this was the result:

Not so much. 

Cat pics

I was at the iPhone store yesterday, FINALLY getting my camera phone fixed, because anyone who knows me well, is aware I was deprived without it. So they guy asks if I backed it up. And I gave him a blank stare. So then he asks is I have anything on here I couldn't bare to loose. So all my family photos are backed up, but I have 100 pictures of my cat that aren't. 

I actually considered not handing it over!! Might be time to admit I'm one of them. A cat person...

This is us, nose to nose. Gawd we are CUTE!!