Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Profile picture age

I'm a sucker for those quizzes on Facebook to start, but I also love it when people try to guess my age. A client this week guessed "22" which is a lot older, usually the guesses don't break 20. 

Which is why I wasn't surprised this one didn't. And I purposely picture one where I was doing something ridiculous to help my odds. How did they come up with the rest of that stuff though? From one picture? I'm not saying it wasn't accurate, actually I think some of it was bang on. All of a sudden I regretted giving them access to my whatever...

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Shirt sleeve grievance

I saw this video encouraging women to lift weights when they go to the gym. Powerlifting, it's a thing. I have a friend from my program who got super into it, and she's super strong. I also know lots of strong women in my Judo club. Not to mention all the women in dodgeball, and my daily life who I don't know could bench press me if they had the opportunity. Here's my problem, if you want women to get strong, make clothes that account for big biceps. Now let's be clear, I have pretty average biceps, big arms, and some of it is muscle. I do a few push ups a week, and some of my work shirts fit everywhere else great, except my arms. A couple I'm careful how I move because it feels like I'll Hulk out of it. One had elastics there, that I removed for my own happiness. And now that we're talking about it, what's the difference between men's and women's deodorant, besides the fact that theirs actually works? I own a men's stick, and damn do I smell good when I wear it. This is not men are from Mars, Venus bullcrap, this is a world that needs to change and make room for #strongwomen. 

Scary sexy

I recently had the experience of going to a new, very large sex store. (Keery - keep reading, I promise not to reference your brother) Problem was, as much as I was trying to keep focused on what I might like, I kept getting distracted by all the super out there, crazy stuff. I snapped some pictures so you might share in my feelings. This is an assortment of anal toys, sometimes referred to as butt plugs. 

Check out those gems! That's right ladies and gentlemen, should it be your thing, you can bedazzle your butt hole.

Or jump around the room as your partners sexy fox, including the tail. The other super strange thing I didn't get a picture off were urethra penetration rods for men. I'm not making this up. And I'll have you know I tried googling it for your benefit, and I'll probably never recover. Before you assume no one would ever do that, the lady at the store sold two the week I was there. Would have been three, but a gentleman came in to buy them, and didn't think they would be big enough to stimulate him. Takes all kinds. 

Monday, September 5, 2016


I was at Rona buying some new door knobs, and while I was at it, thought I'd check out their toilet paper dispensers. Since I get lost so often there, I asked a person working there politely in what isle I might find them. He says, "oh! Are you looking for the one that automatically dispensers sheets by motion activation?" 

I must have given him a gawd awful look. Absolutely not. 

Btw, this should scare you...

This might scare you even more...

What would a motion activated toilet seat be activated to do? Go up and down I bet. Glow maybe? Predict your #1 or #2 based on degree of clenching? I haven't yet run into an automatic toilet flush that either flushed at the appropriate time, and didn't scare the living crap out of me. #poopun   


Saturday, September 3, 2016

Hello hole

I bought a new dress, well new to me. I got it from Value Village on sale for $7. 

It's hard to see from that picture the colour or style, I'll brighten it up. 

Perfect! Now you can REALLY see the bra I abandoned beside me on the bed. But I don't think I can ever wear it without a bra you see, there's a Lacey see-through stripe underneath the bossum. In the picture, you can see my white body poking through. But I just KNOW if I wore it out like that, one of my tatas would get the funny idea to slide down into that space. They'd be singing Adele "Hello. It's me.." I'd be on 5 peoples snap stories before I even realized what happened.