Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Me as a bit...

As per usual, I’m 10 years behind, but I just discovered Bitmoji, and all of a sudden an bunch of these things I’ve seen all over Facebook make sense. Sort of. 


I do not feel the need to be overly accurate when it comes to the BAGS UNDER MY EYES! 


Or my stress wrinkles. I’m quite sure people will recognize a cartoon version of me without those. 


Picking my glasses for cartoon me took more time than it did in real life. For reals, and not by a small margin I might add.


Who’s going to pick the Michallen man? Ah yes, my body type is ompa lompa please? No. If you’re picking a cartoon version of yourself, I feel it’s artistic liberty to shave off 20-30 pounds. At least. 

I had to try super hard not to let my emoji out dress me. Who on earth came up with those outfits? New York fashion week? Well safe to say I never look like that. Or that...where’s the potato sack? I’ll settle for a purple one. 


I’ll leave that one right there. I need at least three more options on the heavy end on that one...

But then things started to get creepy. 

Yes. 

Maybe. 


Okay that’s just creepy...Right. Enough. 


You tell them tiny tit cartoon Jenn! 

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Sassy class 

By now even my blog followers have probably  figured out I like to try new things, push my comfort zone and giv’er. My sister Aleisha who’s been a dancer all her life, found Army of Sass a few years ago, and everytime I go to her shows I promise to come try a class. Well I finally did. 

So it’s basically sexy dancing in high heels. Kinda burlesque, but no stripping, no poles. But in a side note, I’ve also tried pole dancing, and I also appreciate how strong and coordinated those women are. 

So my background in dancing is embarrassing all my friends, and my friends friends when we used to go out. We don’t anymore, we’re old now. Except Aleisha and I did end up at Roosters a few weeks ago after the Miranda Lambert concert. 


See what I mean? And they all dance like this..


We don’t actually know the girl on the far left, she just kinda appeared for a bit. Probably wanted a confidence booster, “look at THAT girl...” 

So anyways, the warm up was lots of squats, and we do that in Judo, so I wasn’t too intimidated. But then we did some more. And another set. And some more squats. SQUATS FOR DAYS. My legs were jello, and I didn’t get a new set to dance with, can you beleive it? 

So the routine was pretty straight forward, Aleisha and her dancing background buddies caught on pretty quick. I kept getting nervous when she’d add more moves. One was a little booty pop from a squat position (MORE SQUATS?) and I was like, “oh that is SO not happening with this body. And these legs.” But Aleisha said I got that part pretty nailed. What I lack in ability I make up for in enthusiasm. 


What I couldn’t nail was the turn. It was the easiest thing in the world, the rest of the class got it just fine. “Just walk around yourself” she says. I could not. I’d get panicked and either spin, or take 15 stomps around like a temper tantrum. We ran through the routine like 10-15 times, I got that bit ONCE. And then I got super excited and couldn’t figure out what had happened to do it again. 

Once or twice they totally lost me, so I just busted my own groove for a bit, and Aleisha totally caught me. Hopefully the cameras they had taking video didn’t. 

Anyhow, if you’ve been thinking about trying it, I totally recommend it. I wasn’t hooked like the first time I tried Acro Yoga, but I was glad I went. Super encouraging and empowering environment, what’s a great group of ladies! 

But any night that ends with poutine like this...


And wine...


Is on point in my books. Also amazing company. 


I’m a very lucky girl in my life to have such amazing peoole to share it with. 


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Death box 

When I was riding the elevator this morning, I pondered that the extra creppy effect was because a light had burned out. I laughed to myself, “since when did my life become a thriller?” When I called the elevator to do my laundry, the other light must also have burned out. Oh heeeelllllls no. I’m not particularly afraid of the dark, or small spaces. I’ve also spent most of my adult life in full contact, aggressive sports. That being said, ain’t no way I’m riding your little box of horror. I’ll walk out the front, round the building in the RAIN with my laundry, thank you. Not this time Freddy. On the way back up, I called it again thinking, “come on Jenn, you’re a full grown adult...” still no. HARD pass.