Thursday, June 30, 2011

Mars buys 2 in 1

Of the multitude of differences between men and women, I think one of the more amusing is how we buy hair products. Women you see, buy shampoo and conditioner because they serve two completely difference functions, both of which are equally important. Men on the other hand pick up two-in-one shampoo/conditioner and think "what a great idea!" Then they wonder why women would ever buy two products when one does the same thing?

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Magic Erasers

A friend of mine got us a gig cleaning her uncles new house this past weekend. We were getting paid, but man were the previous owners bad at cleaning. "See that grey shower? It used to be white..oh and that black stove, also used to be white, including the yellow grease stained vent cover.." It was hard work, but what made it a whole lot easier was magic erasers. I don't often say this, but their name is completely appropriate, they are actually magical. Marks in the window creases, on the walls, in the closet, we must have used almost eight of them in one day. I bet I did half the scrubbing I would have without them, and after eight hours I was ready to hug whomever invented them. We should make a scholarship in their honour. I bet anyone with kids who's discovered their majesty buys them in bulk. My family should all expect one in their stocking this Christmas.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Avocado Addiction

A year or so back, my dad made it his personal goal to get me to like sushi and wine, and although it took a while, he succeeded. Some might say chicken and beef rolls aren't real sushi because they're not raw fish, but it's still rolled up in seaweed and rice, so it counts. About a month back I'd just gotten off work, and I had a craving for sushi, and circumstances as they were, I had to settle for BLT. Well even when I ate sushi a couple days later, it didn't fill the craving. I ate sushi almost everyday, and I still crave avocado rolls like a pregnant woman, even though that possibility's already been ruled out. It's so bad that I ordered sushi on my break from the place I had to drive to, not realizing I didn't have my car, so I got my sister to come pick me and my sushi up later, just before they closed. I had sushi for breakfast and dinner yesterday. Thing is, if I order an avocado roll and the seaweed is on the outside, all bets are off.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Male Strike

I bet my boyfriend Greg hasn't even noticed there's a mail strike. It all started when he needed his care card for something, and pulled it out in pieces and puzzled it together. "You know you just have to print a form and they'll send you a new one right?" So I printed the form, and I even put a stamp on an envelope and put it together for him. And it sat. For weeks. So finally I filled out the papers, wrote on the envelope and sealed it. I put it in his hand as he was heading out the door and told him where the nearest mailbox was. A few months later he lost his wallet and said, "Good thing I never sent away for that care card!" He unearthed the battered envelope, sporting a dirty foot print, from his glove box. I refused to mail it, but come to think of it, I don't remember seeing the new card in his wallet...

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Vancouver Pride

Decked out in Canuck gear, I was feeling pretty patriotic downtown last night watching the game. Although I was sad we were loosing, we left halfway through the third period, scared of what might happen after the game. Our parents were all texting us to get out of there. On my way home, I got a text message that a car was being torched, but I didn't believe it until I got home and watched it on a live feed. I watched my fellow citizens, hit each other, break windows and pose for pictures like they're proud of what they did. I'm ashamed. I called 3-4 of my friends to make sure they got out ok, and received similar calls insuring my safety. I watched for two hours while police tried to calm the unruly crowd. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and went to bed hoping nobody got hurt. With all the phones, cameras and social media, I hope they didn't think they were going to get away with it. To the rioters themselves: you shamed your city.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Retail Sympathy

This crazy thing happens at work when we're pulling the gates across near the end of the night. People like to run in and promise they'll be super quick, and they know exactly what they want when I tell them we're only open for another 5 minutes. Naturally they take 10-15 minutes to make their selections and saunter casually to the cash desk. But the part that baffles me the most is when they say something along the lines of "I work in retail too, and I know what its like when you're trying to close.." Well no. If you did, you wouldn't be here right now.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Dumb DD

So last night my sister wanted to go to the bar, and I offered to drive. When the local watering hole got too rowdy, and annoying for anyone not 5 shots deep, I told my sister to call me when she needed a ride. After driving around for a while, I resorted to sleeping in my car, in the bars parking lot. I was jolted awake by the realization that I'd actually left without paying my BLT bill earlier in the night. I was so frazzled I grabbed my purse and cell phone and ran to get back before they closed. As soon as I closed the door I realized my keys were still inside. But as embarrassing as it is, I do it quite often, but my hide-a-key must have falling off at some point, because it wasn't there. We ended up walking home, the long way because the forest trails were all too dark, and my intoxicated sister kept saying we were "walking too fast". And don't forget the cartwheels in the middle of the road.

What would have been a three and a half minute drive turned into, an hour walk, a ride on a motorized bike, and getting to sleep at 2:30 in the morning. Go me!