Sunday, January 31, 2021

Jerk off my horn

One of my favourite things to do (when it was allowed) is play Dodgeball. Seen the movie with the same name? It’s shockingly accurate. I usually play in a beer league (there’s now 5 in the BC Lower Mainland) mostly full of the “athletic types” you remember from high school. At one point I started my own team called “Amazeballs” with the t-shirts having a unicorn drinking wine on them. To fit the theme, I’d wear a unicorn headband to most nights. 


One such night, a friend of mine came up, and started jerking off my horn. I turned to her and said, “You’re actually the second person to jerk off my horn tonight..!” At which point some guy standing near us, who I’d never met, burst out laughing. I said, “Well that’s a heck of a first impression, Hi - I’m Jenn... and you know what? I’m not even going to correct that, it’s actually pretty accurate...”