Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Couch crazy

It started off harmless enough, my spin instructor posted a couch on biding wars, and offered to deliver. I'm in! "but what about your old couch?" My friend says. Dammit. 

Because that's another problem, living alone I can't just have strangers off the internet show up. But semi-strangers from my Facebook, alright! One of my friends suggested staging a boyfriend... Like staging a house. Kinda funny, really. 

So then while I'm waiting for my late friend, two strangers from the street offer to help. And it's heavy and difficult to get in the building, so we knock on my neighbours door for them to open it to give us more room. Then the chick for the new couch and her mom shows up. Now we have a right party in the hallway.

I let the two men off the hook when the couch didn't fit through the doorway, "this is much beyond the call of duty for a genuinely good deed..." And then I had a moment of brilliance. Let's move the old couch out while the new one is in the hall, out of the way! 

We ended up having to take my new couch out the side of the building and around the back. It was all feeling pretty exasperating, until I sat on it for the first time. Totally worth it, I assure you. 

The comfyness just sucks you in, all in one gulp. Like the perfect pair of shoes you didn't have to break in! I'm sleeping on it tonight, and not just to confuse the cat, but that's the cherry on top. Booya! 


Monday, April 25, 2016

No mother

I had already decided that today I would do a post related to Mother's Day for the occasion, and I had a story I found on Facebook about a "Mean mom" teaching her kids manners. I'll still attach that to the end, but something more profound happened to me at work today. 

I had a family come in, dad and two kids, a girl around 7 and a boy around 9. When I asked if they were getting any other chocolates or ice cream, the kids started saying, "Yes please to ice cream! Yes please! Yes please!" I was so amused I started making light conversation with them. Then I asked, "...and did you spoil your mom this morning?" Because usually I get retellings of homemade cards and gooey pancakes. But the girl answered in a sing song voice, "we don't have a mother" and my heart sank. I kept talking with her until her and her brothers attention went elsewhere, and I leaned into the dad and apologized profusely, and he said with wet eyes, "it's ok, just that some of us don't have that privilege..."

I went to the backroom and cried. And then tonight, I called my mom. Even though I had no intention to before. I still feel so unsettled about it. I had no way of knowing, and I didn't mean any insensitivity by it. Could have been a car accident, cancer, or she could have just left for another country, or another man. I have no idea what their story is, or how it continues day to day. Their story pulled my heart strings though, and I wish them the very best. 

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Cooking video grievance

Has everyone seen those cooking videos on Facebook everyone shares but never make? I have a problem with them. They always have everything already cut and portioned out into wee bowls, and then just show them all being dumped into together like, "isn't that easy?" I want a disclosure, how much prep time was involved before video shooting began. "I've been chopping shit for two hours..."

Elevator people

I used this term when I first moved into my building for the random people in the elevator I would run into, and ask hard hitting questions. "Where do I get a laundry card?" 

Just recently though, I ran into the neighbour directly above me late on a Saturday we were both doing laundry. I had plans, I got stood up ok? 😜 

Anyways, she was telling me all about the building gossip, the neighbours everyone seems to have issues with, who just so happen to be directly beside me. Go figure. And before you assume some of my shinanigans have been blamed on them, I assure you that's not the case. 

She also asked me about the plumbing I had done the weekend I moved in because her sink was shaking. I told her next time anything like that happened, to just come down and knock on my door, I'll clear it up right away instead of waiting three months. 

She asked me if my parents owned the place, and I was just living here. I smiled super wide. It could have been because she knew the older couple that owned it before me, but I'd like to think it's because I look to young to own my own place. 

Then she says, "oh I'm glad I met you, and you're pretty normal and everything." And I looked at her straight in the eyes and said, "oh, I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression, I'm as weird as they come." 

And you should have seen the look on her face...

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Hippie tales: No poo update

Since I'm no poo-nig it, I've been engaging in lots of conversations with people about it. Usually starts with, "I wouldn't touch my hair right now if I were you.." Or "if you're getting a funky smell..." 

My family especially has been giving me some strange looks, this is the kind of thing they'd usually expect from my sister. I haven't decided yet if I'll keep going once the month is up. I've noticed some dry spots on my scalp, and when I sweat, it's smells a lot like vinager. Even using a different shower yesterday where I'd left Herbal Essences Shampoo and Conditioner, I looked longingly at it while I scrubbed in my baking soda and sprayed my vinager. I craved the fruity explosion of smells. 

I had a client at the bank tell me when we were all huddled in the vault that I smelled nice, and I found myself self concious again, like vinegar I said? 

I started using a Fructis product that says its 95% natural. 

Problem is, combined with what's in my hair, it smells like an ash tray. Which is problematic. But I'm sticking it out for you, my lovely bloggy fans. 

Did you know Poo coffee is also a thing?  Coffee beans that has previously been digested by animals. It's a delicacy, so it's super expensive, and people say it tastes great. 

But why stop there? We can do no poo paper! We can scavenge in the back yard for leaves, spray them with olive oil to dampen out, and save ourselves toilet paper. Completely biodegradable! Next time you come for dinner, you see a pile of leaves in the bathroom beside the toilet, and you can find ass wipe anywhere...

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

No poo

Evidently this is truly a thing, because most people I've talked to about it have heard of it before. No shampoo, only using baking soda and vinegar. I waited until my shampoo and conditioner totally ran out, because lets be honest, if it's there as an option...on April 14th I did my first treatment.

My hair didn't feel clean and it smelled like vinager fries. Until I put my hair product in, then it smelled like a dirty ash tray. Everytime I talked to my friend, I told her how awful my hair was, and how I wasn't sure I was going to be able to stick it out for a whole month. 

See a problem here? Well actually there was two. I was using baking POWDER instead of SODA, turns out that makes a HUGE difference. Also, I wasn't mixing any of it with water. Just like getting Abbostford and Aldergrove mixed up, it only makes sense in my head. 

Speaking of my head, see that tuff of hair partying out the side? And what about this picture below? 

All bad things. Worked a lot better when I did it properly. This was me yesterday. 

And for good measure, me today...

The byproduct of this experiment so far has been an empathy for people who are self conscious about being clean. Last Thursday I had Judo, and Saturday I did a first aid course, both of which include lots of physical contact, and I was uncomfortable with the state of my hair. I knew someone who got teased about being "dirty" as a kid, and it's shaped who they are as a adult. I understand that a little better now. 

Tuesday, April 19, 2016


A friend of mine posted this to Facebook, and I'm having mixed feelings about it. I think the idea stems from people just not being in a place emotionally where they can start a healthy relationship for whatever reason, and based on personal experience, that has some merit. But I also see the argument they're getting at, that people can pick up all your broke peices and make you feel whole again, and that in and of itself creates and strong connection. I just can't stand poetic, airy statements just for the sake of it, I find them untangible and unrelatable. I think maybe we're more capable of love than we think, and it's possible that at our weakest moments, we learn the most about ourselves. 

This one resonated with me:

Best compliment

I had an acquaintance give me the best compliment the other day. He said my blog helped him, and to keep writing, because you never know who you're helping. I thought it was going to be something to do with the grieving post I've written about losing my dad to cancer in 2014, but it wasn't. It was about dating, of all things. Another recent romantic endeavour hit the fan last week, one I was particularly hopeful for, and I've rarely felt less equipped to give advice, and yet here we are. Brings me to self reflect on why it is that I keep writing these, as I've said before, it started as a school project, and one I wasn't so keen about doing. But maybe someone gets a laugh on the skytrain to work. Maybe someone takes comfort in my raw honesty about grieving. Gawd forbid someone takes my dating advice, but evidently it's happened at least once.

I get on average 60-80 hits on a post, but it's interesting to think about who those 80 people are. I go to parties and people admit they're avid followers. Random acquaintances, people I've know for short amounts of time, or don't see too often. Family, coworkers and people I see everyday. Grams, of course. I keep seeing followers in Ireland, more interesting or less if we've never met? Well the good news is, I'm having just as much fun writing them as you apparently are reading them, so let's not mess with this good thing we have going...

Monday, April 18, 2016

Still dodging

Well the good news is, they took more pictures at dodgeball. The bad news is, they took more pictures at dodgeball. Let's be clear, some of these shots are EPIC! Look at this guy! 

Badass. And then there's me. 

To be fair, I'm reffing in that one.

With any luck I just got out in that one, instead of what it looks like, which is me casually sauntering about while my teammates throw themselves around. 

That one looks legit. I'm clearly dodging. Got my hands up to catch a ball, which is  one of your only hopes when it's just you against two or more players. But then there's this...

I'm turned sideways, which my team had told me not to do a million times, "you can't catch like that.." And how about that look on my face? 

I rest my case. I love dodgeball, but as my elementary school report card would say, there's room for improvement. 

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Sniff test

I had some friends in high school I used to tease about the sniff test. In that scenario it was leaving all your clothes on the floor and sniffing one for cleanliness. Weren't we gross back then? I hope they dropped that habit now...The other day though, another kind. I saw something in the middle of my floor, and as a natural reaction I picked it up to sniff it and determine what it was. Cat barf. I almost added to the pile I now saw with my own after sniffing it. I determined that people with pets and kids, must have long ago abandoned the natural reaction of sniff test. 

Cat crazy

I'm a dog person. I own a cat, and at this point I do love it, but in my heart I'm a dog person. Also, I like to think I'm my own unique brand of crazy, and cat crazy is just so mainstream. 

That being said, David's Tea came out with a new mug, that had cats on it. They sold out quite quickly. "Appriently people who like loose leaf tea are also the same people who like cats..." the guy at the store says. 

It gets better, when you out hot liquid in it, it's colour changing...

I also couldn't help myself when I found this bag at Winners the other day. 

Right. So at this point, let's just call a spade a spade. I'll just add cat crazy to my existing lot. 

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Bike on the bus

Last week when my car was in the shop, I was getting creative about how to get around. Thank you to all the kind souls who gave me rides, and offered me rides. And picked me up last minute when I got stuck. On a morning I started late, I decided to push my comfort zone and take my bike on the bus. 

For regular transit goers, you might be wondering how it's pushing the bounds of where I'm comfortable, but I've only ever taken my bike on the bus once, years ago with a guy friend who did all the loading and unloading for me.  

I woke up at 6am the morning I was to embark on my adventure, to ease my anxiety I watched a YouTube video translink put out about how to load and unload. It described the ediquitte and when to do what, but it was a little skimpy on the actually physical loading. Which with a bus full of people in a hurry, was the scariest part. The rack they have is easy though, with big yellow parts and instructions. I have small arms, so it was probably harder for me, and I managed. 

Actually the whole thing went off without a hitch. The worst part was watching my bike bounce around on the front, knowing that should it bounce off, it's going to immediately be run over by a bus. And don't forget to put the rack back up when you're done, or you'll get honked at. 

But all the inspirational quotes aside, I think it's important to do things that scare us. Constantly push the box of where you're comfortable. I was all elated, on an epic adventure, and everyone else was just commuting to work or school. That's ok! 

Friday, April 8, 2016

Car wash

Let me tell you the story of how I ended up washing my ex-boyfriends dirty jeep in the rain...

Ok, it's actually not that interesting. He was trying to fix my car for me. But when he asked me to wash the hub caps, I couldn't help it. "You still know how to get a girl on her knees..." Remember that Jessica Simpson music video? 

How could you forget? I think I'm close...

Telus underpants

At my building last week, we had a planned power outage. I thought I was sush a smartie pants setting an alarm in my phone reminding me to unplug my laptop so if the power surged when it came back on, it wouldn't fry the tired old thing. Didn't think about my Telus wireless Internet modem though. So it never started working again properly after the power came back on. So yesterday I spent an hour on the phone, troubleshooting with them trying to get it working. He's asking me where it's plugged in, unplugging it, asking which lights are on. "Well the underpants light comes on intermittently..." He's all confused. 

"The light under the power button. The small pair of underpants!" 

He didn't even try to save face, I had him in stitches.