Friday, November 23, 2012

Disney on Ice t-Shirt

So last night Greg and I went to Disney on Ice: Dare to Dream. I must say, it was absolutely fantastic. I wasn't expected the acrobatic, flying through the air holding onto ribbons bit, amazing. Which is exactly how Greg would describe it I'm sure. He was so thrilled to be there, at one point he requested I stop "squealing" as he put it. I was having a blast. It was pretty funny when I reached the front of the cheap gimmicky keepsake stand and I requested my purple Tangled t-shirt, the guy working the booth said, "Great! Who for?" And started looking around for my children. Is it more embarrassing that it was for me?
Or that it was kids sized and actually fit?




Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Spoilers

I rest my case: spoilers = stupid + useless. 


Someone with a bad sense of humour called them that because 
they spoil the look of the car right? 

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Need 2 minivans?


This was in the Costco parking lot back in the summer. I resisted the urge to follow them to see if they make it home.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Elevator abbreviations

Most things we run into on a daily basis have abbreviations; numbers, symbols or shortened forms of words that are universal. Street signs, maps, gas station signs..but what happens when they're not universally understood? I have serious beef with elevator abbreviations. There's no legend, and I'm almost sure most people are just guessing what they mean. I'm thinking "L" most likely means 'lobby', but "G"? And the star probably has to do with braille, but who knows?


I don't care who you are, getting into a small box that moves isn't comfortable for anyone, they should make the experience as stress free as possible and just write it out. 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Need a minivan?

I'm not sure if anyone else remembers the commercials that came on when I was a kid, and I don't even remember which van company did them, but they'd always show an overloaded car and say "Need a minivan?" Well I've been catching people, so I want to do a re-occurring post about it. I'll start with myself.  


This is good 'ol snowball and a free desk my friend Kristi and I picked up. We drove slowly to say the least.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Creative real-estate

As a writer, I can appreciate when people creatively portray things, but I think real-estate agents take this to a whole new level sometimes. A few key differences to watch out for, quaint means small, traditional means unrenovated and Semi-Lake shore could mean anything..


This house is selling in Tappen, B.C. near my grandparents house. The lake is across the road, underneath the power lines, and through the trees. No joke.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Applying for a Job 1100

Every retail job I've had, the comic relief has always been what some people will wear/say/do when they are applying to work there. I just can't believe how clueless some people can be. I've compiled a list of donts, because the do's list would just be the opposite, and it's more fun this way.

DON'T come with your mom, dad, or bff.
DON'T let your mom ask for applications on your behalf. I'm always tempted to put stars on these so I know with whom they're coming back.
DON'T wear a t-shirt, but especially an inappropriate one. "That's not what your mom said last night.."
DON'T wear your lulu's/jeans/sweater. Dress fancy, or at least as dressed up as you would need to be to work there.
DON'T try to apply to a place that's super busy, it's annoying.
DON'T ask for a pen if you're dumb enough not to have brought one with you to fill out the application. It's also annoying. Ask another store.  Buy one. Take it home and drop it off later.
DON'T wear anything see through, too short or too low. It's gross.
DON'T put your resume down on the counter and slide it over.
DON'T throw your resume at me.
DON'T roll out of bed and show up. Combs were invented a 100 years ago for a reason.
DON'T look dumb faced when you're asked why you would want to work here. That means you don't. Have a half intelligent/thought out answer for this one.
DON'T apply somewhere you don't want to work. It shows.

Dammit people, you're making a first impression on someone. The likelihood of you being the only one who applied is slim. Don't give them an obvious reason to put you in the "NO!" pile.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Radar alert

I can’t help but laugh every time I hear a radar alert on the radio in the morning. “Also, there’s radar on this street so watch your speed people!” If I was that cop, I would just pack up my shit and move...who doesn't listen to their radio in the car? It feels like elementary school when the teacher left to photocopy, or count to ten or whatever they did, and havoc would ensue. And then the watcher would always YELL, “teacher’s coming!” and everyone would sit straight in their desks with their hands folded. And we wondered how they knew. I wonder if all the cars start going the speed limit on that street after a radar alert? Just like our elementary school teacher, I bet the cop knows better.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Ketchup

Since living together, my roommate and I have had a few sitcom moments, and one of my favourites happened in the first month I was here. Kirsty was sweet enough to cook us dinner, chicken and some fixings. I glanced at the fridge on the way to the living room, thinking I didn't want to hurt her feelings, or offend her by putting ketchup on my chicken. Most of my friends and family know I put ketchup on MOST foods. Chicken, roast, roasted potatoes..the list goes on. But some people take it the wrong way, after all it is a condiment. So I decided to take one for the team and go without. Then Kirsty came around the corner, ketchup in hand. When I said, "whats the ketchup for?" She started in on the same speech I usually give, and I interrupted her with a tear in my eye. "Me too! I eat ketchup on everything too!" And from then on the ketchup makes it to the table for most meals, shame free.




Monday, August 13, 2012

Inflatable chest

Today I asked my new roomie to help me straighten the back few strands at the back of my head I can never get, and we agreed lots of girls miss them. She said she wished she could take her hair off to style it, and then put it back on. I said I wished I could do that with my boobs sometimes, take them off when I don't need them. Or maybe just inflate them.



Going for a run, don't need 'em...*pheeeeewwww* Oh, going out with the girls on the town *pump pump pump* I wanna fit into this sexy lingerie *pheeeeewww* when it comes off *pump pump pump*. Yup, I think we're on to something.



Thursday, June 14, 2012

Craigslist couches

If you're ever bored, and have a craving to see the a large collection of ugly furniture, go to the free section of Craigslist and type in "couch". These are just a small smapling of the jems you'll find there.

    image 0


For the record, just because your couch is from the 70's does not make it an antique, it's just an ugly old couch. Also, the definition of the decriptive word "floral" is very large.

One add actually said, "my cat has done some damage to the back, but if you put it up against a wall, you'd never know!"


Thursday, June 7, 2012

Lanyard status


Ever since the first time I went to Mirage, I've always wanted to wear one of those lanyards they give you on your birthday. It always looked so prestigious and I had this idea in my mind that it would be the ticket to endless free drinks. Since life got too hectic to plan my birthday, last minute I decided this was the year, because lets face it, at 24 it'll be the last year I can get away with it. I was heart broken when we got there I found out that they didn't have any lanyards because they were on back order. Well I must have looked crushed because not too long later, they delivered one to my table, with a complimentary bottle of champagne. I had an absolute blast. My friends ended up buying a lot of my drinks, I danced my heart out and I woke up in the morning still wearing my dress, my purse and TWO lanyards. Rock on.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Animals and babies

Since my generation didn't grow up with Facebook, it's easy to see how the social media outlet has changed things. Some things have come up that I didn't for see, like people who always post about the same thing, or people who post pictures of themselves in the bathroom mirror taken with their camera phone (the guys are always topless). Other things are completely predictable like when my friends have kids and all of a sudden they start posting a million pictures of baby feet, funny faces and the child's milestones. We can tease them, until we have kids and do the same thing. Some of my friends though, they had animals.

There's no other way to describe it. Perhaps they weren't ready to have kids yet, and later in life they will, but these people do all the same things as the people with kids, only about their pets. The nursery is a dog bed, there's pictures of family holding it, and my personal favourite, updates about bowel movements. "Whiskers isn't feeling well today, better make the hubby change the litter box today..." Next time you're scrolling through your news feed, you'll notice your friends who had animals, I'm sure everyone have got at least one on their friend list.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Thursday, April 12, 2012

New phrase

It has happened to everyone, when you're thinking about what you're going to say, and two options come to mind. When you speak, instead of picking one, you utter a weird/unheard of combination of the two. The possibility of this happening increases when you're telling a story or talking about something you're excited about. This experience happened to me. I was thinking of the phrases "jack shit" and "shit all" and it came out "jack shit all". I know what you're thinking, use that in a sentence right?



In this photo, I appear as if I'm up to no good, but in reality I was doing jack shit all sitting in my car in the Costco parking lot this morning. 

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Poo whacked

There I was, walking the dog with dad so he wasn't lonely, when dad picked up the dogs poop, and put it in a bag. As his hand was swinging naturally when he walked, he almost hit me with the poop. "whoa, dad..careful there, you almost whacked me with your poop!" and then he did it. Purposefully, he hit with the bag of poop. I was stunned. Ew! It was warm too! He couldn't stop laughing..oh dad.

Friday, April 6, 2012

2:59

Over Easter, I worked at a store that sold chocolates, and as you can imagine, it was super busy. Not only that, but everyone was going crazy about buying their Easter candies, especially the peanut butter customers. They are a whole new breed of crazy, and you do not want to get between them and their peanut butter, trust me. That is a bad place to be.
Anyhow, the week leading up to Easter, we had crazy line ups. The upside to this is shifts went by super quickly. When I'd occasionally check the time, I was usually surprised. One such day when I was due to be off at 3pm, I checked the clock after helping a customer to see it was 2:59. Without even thinking about it, I helped the next customer in line, which took my until 3:04. I couldn't help but think of all the times I'd been helped past when people were supposed to be off, and how helping that one extra person gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Now you have it too, quick - pass it on!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Dog + vacuum

When we had our last dog, I remember thinking "how much help is he going to be as a guard dog if he's scared of a vacuum cleaner?" but for all you dog owners out there who are thinking the same thing, consider yourself lucky. The alternative is a whole lot worse, let me tell you. When I dig the vacuum out, Indy gets super excited because for him, it's play time! He has the most fun running after the vacuum, chasing it with his tail wagging. He always likes to stand exactly where I need to go next. It drives myself, and whomever else tries to get the task done, absolutely bonkers.
I can't say I haven't considered taking the cord off and sucking him up a couple times just to see if it freaks him out enough to leave me alone. But don't worry, I haven't. Yet.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Post #100



Wow, already? That seemed to go by pretty fast. I hope you guys have been having as much fun with this as I have. Cheers to another 100.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Strange sign


Outside Curves in Port Coquitlam, on Prarie Ave the sign reads, "Bring a bag of food, Join for free"

The likelihood of the bag of food being for a food bank is high, but sometimes the conciseness of signs makes me chuckle.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Extra large

I won roll up the rim to win the other day! I was so excited, when I went to redeem it, I ordered an extra large. I'd never seen the size since they changed the pricing, but I wasn't dissappointed, that's for sure.


It was bigger than my head. Huge. Similar to the huge ass coffee Starbucks sells. I was drinking steeped tea forever, and I could barely finish it.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Mom? Dad?


This is the path at my sisters house that leads around to the front of the house. When I went outside today to see what was taking so long, I saw her sitting there, looking at the gate. She misses her parents! 

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Friday, March 9, 2012

Dreaded L word

I was chatting with a friend of mine in the car the other day, when we started talking about soulmates.We talked about the idea that for every person in the world, there's a soulmate. I'm not sure I believe in that though. My dad met his soulmate at 45.


I believe they're so perfect for each other because of what they've experience in their lives before they met. They figured out they went to the same dance when they were teenagers, and I think fate intervened when they didn't meet, because they were too different back then. I believe in love at first sight, although it has never happened to me. I also believe you can learn to love someone. Sometimes I think you can even fall in love when you don't want to, because you think it's inconvenient. Its weird to think about it because there's so many books and experts on love, but I think it's time to admit we really don't know much about it.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Scrabble Thief


This is a picture of a card in this month's issue of Papercrafts magazine, and I love it! I got super excited because Greg and I go to Value Village all the time, and they always have 2-3 Scrabble games they're selling for $3-4 each. I'm thinking for $8 I'll grab up two games, and I'll be able to make multiple cards with them. But someone thought of it before me. Everyone Value Village between here and Kamloops is completely sold out of Scrabble. I don't think it's multiple crafters cashing in, I think it's one single cruel individual that drove around hitting up every location for the game. This is a call out to the Scrabble Thief: you suck. 

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Indy's antics #1039


I could write a whole blog on this dog's antics, but everytime I turn my attention away, this happens. 

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Underage is overrated

It's no secret that I get asked for ID everywhere I go. When I go out with my friends, everyone gets asked because they're with me. Even when Greg and I go on dates together! But the other day, it went too far. I was asked for ID bringing liquor bottles back. And to console me, EVERYONE says, "Oh well, you'll like it when you're older.."
That might be true, but it doesn't help me now.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Coloured denim eh?

This is an email I got from Ardene a while back, and the title of the email was,
 "Coloured denims have arrived!"


My issue with this is how little of the photo attached actually focuses on the coloured denims. This is an appropriate ad for sunglasses, earrings, messy braids, weird shirts..but no, not denims. 

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

"Bridge"

So I'm hiking with Janine in Minnekhada park, when suddenly I stopped in the middle of the trail, wondering if it had ended and Janine says, "Over here, we just go over this bridge.."


I would call this more of a log with a railing.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Family night giving back



Last night dad, mum, Aleisha and I all went to donate blood. Well, the three of us went to donate, Aleisha came as moral support. We had fun joking about the weird questions they have to ask you around drugs and sex to screen for Aids, and poking fun at the grumpy nurse.


I'm AB positive, which only 7.6% of Canadians have.My donation didn't go as smoothly as it could have, but I was back to myself after 10 minutes and we laughed it off at the cookie table. I know they're always asking for donors, so my suggestion is, bring a friend. :)

Monday, February 27, 2012

Clean window = bad day for birds

Today while Aleisha was studying in the living room, a bird hit our front window. When Aleisha looked out, it lay quivering on the lawn. We were both slightly dramatized, and decided to take it to the Animal Hospital, just in case it was dying. Apparently, wild birds don't like shoe boxes. When I tried to nudge it into the box, I guess it decided my arm was less threatening. I'm not sure who was more weirded out by the whole thing.


But when we did get it in the box, and drove to the vet, it flew out of the box as soon as we opened it. My friend Zoe at the Animal Hospital said they would feed the bird, and let it loose in a few hours, but chances are it would be just fine. I snapped this shot in the examination room. Fly away little birdie! 

Monday, February 20, 2012

Just once...


When I take Indy for walks, he always sticks his head in all the storm drains.
Just once I want him to find one with a squirrel or other small creature living in it. 

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Stacked

Dad says, "space is at a premium on a boat."


I think this is what happens when it rains and the parents can't go play outside.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Smelly people

For a multitude of random reasons, I've been taking the skytrain a lot in the last few weeks. I understand that there will always be people who stink, and that wanting to eradicate them is up there with world peace, but today was just gross. When I was walking through the Commercial street skytrain station, the guy in front of me stunk so bad I could hardly breath. I was so relieved when he boarded a different car on the train, until it happened. I realized that I still smelled like him! His stinky smell had actually stuck to me!  I don't understand how he couldn't know he smells that bad?

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

My boudoir adventure

It was easy for my friend to convince me to get boudoir photos done for my boyfriend for Valentine's Day, because I'm always looking for ways to be romantic in a guys perspective. But as the shoot got closer, I started to get hesitant about it. Friends of ours had used the photographer, Leida from True Colours Photography in the past, and I liked their pictures. It was just hard to imagine meeting a photographer for the first time, putting on lingerie and making it look super sexy all in one hour.It helped that I went shopping before hand, and got some super cute (and CHEAP!) outfits to wear and I also stole Greg's cowboy hat while he was in Scotland.
When I got to Leida's house in Abbostford, I felt comfortable almost instantly. She'd asked her husband to leave for the day, which I found super respectful. Leida was so professional and encouraging. I could tell as soon as she started taking photos how passionate she was, as she climbed on chairs, and rolled around on the floor getting good angles. She gave some much direction with the posses, I could tell she'd done her homework about boudoir. She also took the time to fix small details like tags sticking out, and pieces of hair here or there before she took photos. At one point during the shoot, I was actually holding myself in and it was that point that I thought, "ok, this is the bounds of where I'm comfortable.." One of the first things I thought when I got in the car was, "I can't believe I did that...and I can't wait to show my family!"
Within a week, I got the chance to preview the pictures after editing, and got a disc in the mail with over 20 shots. I was super pleased with the results, and so was Greg when I gave him an album full of the pictures yesterday.


I think it's healthy to try something slightly out of the box sometimes, and constantly test where your boundaries and levels of comfort are. I had such a great experience with Leida, I would definitely recommend her and True Colours Photography next time you want professional photos done, especially if you want to try boudoir.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Cutting it out

Since I came back from Ucluelet, I've been working on re branding myself to get another position in the writing field. This means I had to change my Twitter account, get new business cards and almost completely re-do my portfolio. When I said down to make the changes to my portfolio, I was surprised how much emotion I felt while literally cutting the words "Journalism" and "Journalist" out of my life.


I value the experiences I had in Ukee, and will never regret it. I'll be honest though, in the actions of moving forward, some of the stranger experiences have caught me off guard.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Another retail rant

Did you know my name is Ummmm? Especially when I used to work at a video store, people would approach the counter and say.."ummm.....do you have this movie, what that guy who does that thing..?" What's worse is when you approach a customer and ask them if they need any help, and they say, "No.... but do you have that flavour of soap you used to have that kinda smelled like..." I'm always tempted to walk away as soon as they say no. Clearly you need help, so just say YES! Also, only google "ummm..." if you're already having a strange day and you're super bored.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Snuggie

I first heard about Snuggies through a friend of mine at school, who hated the whole idea. For all the reasons she didn't like them, I completely wrote Snuggies off. And then I got one for Christmas and my whole world changed.
For someone like me who LOVES snuggling on the couch and being comfortable, this was the perfect gift. So perfect I decided to get my Grammy Ivy one, and I know she'll love it too.


Give Snuggies a chance, they're totally worth it. :)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

International shipping

Tonight I fell victim to the irresistibly low prices on an American website, again. I knew I was in trouble when I couldn't enter in the last digit of my postal code. For those of you who don't shop online, trust me when I say .ca and .com become increasingly important. If you do find yourself  in Yankee web space, just for laughs check out what they'll charge you to ship an item. Many charge international shipping to get it to Canada. In some cases, they'll charge the same amount to ship from Seattle to here as they would to get it to Europe. We're your neighbours to the North people, we're not that far away!