Last year at one of my onesie parties, my friends took it upon themselves to put little paper penis' all over my house.
They got pretty creative, sticking them to door handles, and other places I'd have to touch them.
It's made for some interesting scenarios, my favourite of which was when I had a sex toy home party sales lady over, and mid sentence she says, "wait, are there penis' all over your house? I thought for a minute I'd been in the business too long, seeing dicks everywhere..."
Last week I opened the book Jon was reading, and found a small collection of my paper penis' on the front page! I sent a snap titled #dicktheif that I didn't save.
Turns out, little by little he's been de-dicking my place. Couple times he put them up at the construction job sites.
But on the day we've been dating for six months, I also feel it nessesary to point out the other way he removed dicks from my life, by being a rock star boyfriend.
Cheers to surrounding yourself with amazing people, and realizing one day how ridiculously happy you are. I wish this kind of happiness for all my friends and family, but also for all the dicks in the world, maybe it'll soften you up a little.