I tried hard to be strong. This "strength" word I kept hearing. I was just faking it at the start. Suddenly though, a week went by. And I was still here. Then a month. Now it's been over six months. He's still gone. Sometimes I see pictures of him, or he shows up in my dreams and it shocks me like it just happened. But I'm still here. And I know he'd want me to make the best of it, like he did. The best compliment I get is when people say they see him in me. Especially when I've done something out of the box.
People tell me the Celebration of Life we had was lovely. I hope they're right. I hope dad got to see how packed it was, with all the people he touched. He would have been 56 today. He'd have been away on his boat, or on a cruise like he usually did for his birthday.
I missed him a lot this week, and when my work schedule came out for December, I realized it's going to get harder before it gets easier. Will we have shooter night/tree decorating? Whose going to wear the tree skirt? Christmas morning. I haven't missed a Christmas morning with my dad my entire life.