No snore

On the bright side, I saw this on Groupon...

His and hers matching snoring guards, to amplify the sexy in your life. You think I'm kidding, but 10,000 were bought. All over the world couples are sleeping better, and whispring, "Goof nighth, I lofe you"

Name drop

As a person who likes to address the feelings in the situation, blogging has brought up some interest moral challenges for me. I had a previous fling say he wasn't reading my blog out of respect for me, just in case I had anything to get out of my system. So first off, let's call it how it is, he was more concerned about seeing himself on here than my feelings. But that also brings up the idea that I would use my blog to gripe about guys who burned me, which I find almost insulting. I use my journal for that, not a PUBLIC platform. At most I'll admit to the occasional nameless jab. Because in my mind, that makes it ok if I don't actually name someone. Nicknames, and ambiguous "a friend of mine..." seem to justify my conscious just fine. Do note the above, "a fling" reference, I can already hear my sister saying, "yea, that could be ANYONE really..." But let's be honest, you all usually know who you are. I called it a cameo, but evidently that's only in film, and if you're a celebrity. Like Grams, who I have this idea is excitedly reading on her iPad a bunch of miles away, elated when I reference her. Maybe not. Maybe she's shaking her fist at her lap and cussing (I've heard it). I had a close friend just tell me last night she's keeping a mental tab on how many posts she's dropped into, "I make Jenn question her life!" But I also ask permission sometimes. People have different ideas about oversharing online, and should my blog ever get me into any sort of trouble, which by some fluke either it hasn't, or I just don't know about it, I'd like to not take anyone down with me. Well except Grams I suppose, but to her I'd say, "you knew this day would come." 

On the other hand, despite getting around 100 hits per post lately, maybe thinking that I have that much influence on anything is conceited. That would be a new look for me. Could be fun. 

Junk mail happy

I have this Happiness Ap that I downloaded a while back, which has sayings and advice on beautiful backgrounds. 

It's a free app, and I pop into it every once in a while. 

I'm pretty sure they're on a reel, because I've started to recognize a few. I like it because non of them are overly religious. I consider myself spiritual, but not religious. 

It's interesting to think about how people proactively seek out happiness. Some ways might be a little left to centre. 

For instance, I would suggest checking your junk mail box. I was having a rough day, I went in there, felt instantly better. I realized I'd won a million dollars, twice actually. One was an inheritance from a relative I've never heard of. Also, I found my soulmate, and 3 good times should I ever seek one. I also had four opportunitues to enlarge my member, always helpful. Unfortunately my banking has been hacked, with three banks I don't have accounts, but I'll get that sorted before I deposit my millions, it says I can just click the link. I'll tell you what, my happiness app never did any of that! 

Hippie for life: poo finale

How was dropping off the face of the planet for a week you ask? Quite nice. But I missed my month deadline for No Poo-ing it, which officially ended on May 14th. Strangely enough, the Wednesday before it "finished" on the Saturday, all of a sudden my hair started to feel nice. Silky, soft. I still find the occasional flake of dandruff, but for the most part I'm quite happy with it. I'm learning what my head/hair naturally smell like, plus the smell of vinegar of course. It's so cheap! I'm barely into my giant jug of vinegar, and about halfway through the box of baking soda. I even forgot to bring some with me when I went to Salmon Arm for the long weekend to stay with my grandparents, and I was able to grab some out of her cupboard! The next hurdle will be when I get my hair coloured and styled, I wonder if my stylist with need to shampoo it? I make no gauruntees about how long I'll stick with it, but for now, this is working in my life. 

Sexy lip biting

How on EARTH do they do that in magazines and on TV? Do you absolutely have to be a celebrity to pull it off? If you're not laughing enough one night, please do try this at home folks...

How about this one, "YOU GUNNA DIE!!"

Ok, so maybe be a tease and don't look at the camera right? WRONG!!!

And don't even get me started on the lip bite/winky face. 

Popeye the sailor man! But I gauruntee you this will be the result - hysterical laughter with red lipstick on your teeth. 

If you do happen to be the less than 1% of the population who can pull this off, please post a picture on my Facebook post. Scratch that, if you CAN'T, please share your favourite failed attempt. 

Biggest fear

Remember that post about my relaxed feelings around expiry dates, and when I did food safe I was surprised I was still alive? I finally gave myself food poisoning, and it came with a migraine. I missed a day of work, it wasn't pretty. They're a real thing, don't listen to me. Anyways, the point here is, the only thing I got done yesterday was a single load of laundry. And in that process, my worst fear came true. 

Grams is laughing because she gave me that pair of socks, so she knows how devastated I'd be if that single sock was never found. But it was, by a neighbour of mine, probably in the dryer, who considerately tacked it up there so I would see it and recognize it as mine. Now before you think I'm overreacting over a single sock, let me ask you this, how close was I to that being a PAIR OF UNDERWEAR? 

It's a real problem, and a side effect of not having in suite laundry. I have to travel with my dirty laundry, down a hallway, into an elevator, and down another hall to the laundry room. And in all honestly, usually there's a lot to travel with. It's happened more than once I do the hallways check, a particularly slinky pair has sneaked out. Without getting into any details about the booty shorts versus thong debate and where I ring in, for the sake of my coworkers who now read my blog, let's just say ANY underwear would be embarrassing. And it's only a matter of time before a thumb tack makes all my worst fears come true. Do I claim it as mine? Snatch it down? Or leave it there and call it a wash, (ha ha, get it?) I'd just have to hope none of my neighbours see me in a matching pair, I do have curtains now...

Yummy hamburger

This photo came up on my news feed on Facebook the other day...

I know what they were trying to do, show a bunch of people having a super great time so you'd want to go there. Like the big, fact juicy hamburger ads that make your mouth water. Maybe it's a late twenties thing, but that is entirely NOT the reaction it elicited for me. I looked at that photo and smiled that I was at home in pjs and fuzzy socks, cuddling the cat on the couch and NOT there with all those sweaty drunk people. Sometimes I think I still want to do that, and then eleven o'clock rolls around, I'm downtown, usually dressed up, not drinking because I need to somehow get myself home, dancing, it's loud, hot and wondering to myself, "why did I think this was a good idea?" Nothing against the Biltmore, but that's a juicy hamburger I'm not craving to take a bite out of lately...