Tuesday, August 19, 2014

I'm yelling TINDER...

To be honest, I've been tempted to write about my experience with Tinder, but then I'd actually have to admit I'm on it. Which I wasn't so willing to do in the article I wrote for my college paper about being single but some reason the entire internet feels much more intimate.

So for those of you playing the home game, Tinder is a hook up app that connects to Facebook. It became super popular during the Olympics, because it finds you matches by how close you are, so people could randomly hook up all over the streets of Vancouver. Can you imagine? "Mmmm, this chick's HAWT, and she's 1km away..."

I made a profile with up 6 pictures from my Facebook account, my name and my age. There's also an option for a write up, but I felt far too much pressure and opted out it. I was tempted to write, "looking for someone who likes cooking and is good at it", but I didn't.

That's it ladies and gentlemen. That's all you have to base a huge decision of swipe left for yes and right for no. It feels completely judgmental! How on earth is that ethical? That being said, it's addictive. I'm not ashamed to say I'm swipe happy.

The app also brings up matches who you have common friends with, and common interests. I must have gone nuts one day for interests, I have over 35. Most of which are outdoorsy like hiking, fishing and camping, so I keep getting this super athletic, outdoorsy guys, not that I'm complaining...

I think it would be mean to admit who I've run into that I know in real life, matched based on our common friends on Facebook, but lets just say it's 100 times more jarring than complete strangers.

I've noticed a few reoccurring trends; pictures with dogs, full back tattoos, guys holding guns and topless selfies. The last of which is a Tinder Turn Off for me, and since they're so funny, let me tell you about other automatic swipe rights...

I click no automatically to guys who have girlfriend pictures, too many alcohol pictures, and pictures where you can't see their head. Duh. Don't get me started on the one gem who just had a picture of his junk, in a pair of WET white underwear. Doesn't leave too much to the imagination, does it Grandma? (I know she reads my blog, don't worry Grams, I didn't take a screen shot)

For no explainable reason I also say no to guys who wear scarves. I feel like they're too artistic for my taste. Maybe too metrosexual. I realize this makes no sense. The poor guys are just cold, and I'm not giving them a chance.

I also say no to all guys named Gary, because that would just be weird. Its my dads name, and even though it's pretty uncommon, I'm surprised how many popped up on Tinder. Maybe it's the same guy over and over again, I would never know. I swiped "OUTTA HERE" too quickly.

When I do get matched with a guy, and they message me, I can't stand it when guys use improper grammar, punctuation and spelling. I dun care if u think ur 2 cool for skool, it drives me CRAZY! I'll overlook the occasional "u" or "r" but use two, too or to incorrectly, all bets are off. On an unrelated note, I just discovered an "unmatch" button...

Wow, that's a lot of Tinder Turn Offs. Well a few things I say yes to are guys who put a smiling picture as their first picture, and ones who write something witty in their write up. And gingers. Oh my goodness the gingers. I have something for freckles, and gawd help me if they're covering their entire body head to toe (my only exception to the topless selfies rule).

So far I have lots of matches, I'm talking to a half dozen guys, and I've been on couple dates...but this post is long enough, I guess you'll have to check back for an update ;)

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